We all have that one friend, the friend who is just a little bit more than a casual hangout 90% of the time. It doesn’t what you’re doing, they go that extra mile to make sure it’s more complicated/fancy/special than it was.
I am that friend. I am 100% the high maintenance friend.
When you’re the high maintenance friend, it’s not about causing inconvenience. You just expect a certain standard of things. And here they are.
The Ins and Outs of Being a High Maintenance Friend: As Told By a High Maintenance Friend
1. Dinner is no small feat
The High Maintenance Friend (HMF) isn’t going to be joining you for Denny’s or a restaurant that’s likely not passed its health inspection. They want to go somewhere with decent reviews and great food. They love things that sound extra (i.e. aioli) and will eat anywhere that has a quirk, such as interesting seating, an exclusive bar, or a VIP area.
2. Vacation isn’t for slumming
I didn’t care that I was in college, if I went anywhere on vacation I was staying somewhere clean and safe. The HMF will spend weeks looking for the right place so they can vacation in style. They need to shower every day, have access to a comfortable bed, and need a fridge for all the drinks they plan on having by the pool.
3. We don’t do breakfast, we brunch
The HMF doesn’t meet you for biscuits and gravy at the corner cafe. They meet you at the outdoor terrace for mimosas and fresh fruit bowls. It’s okay to show up in athleisure, but they will be fully groomed and wearing sunglasses because they only enjoy the morning with the sun in their face and eggs benedict on their plate.
4. There will be cocktails, wine, and craft beer
You can leave your Pabst at home when you visit HMF for movie night. Truth is, they likely have a selection of craft beer and wine ready. And if they really prepared for tonight, they have come up with a signature cocktail and already have one in their hand. This isn’t child’s play, the HMF drinks fancy.
5. Getting dressed is for dressing up
When getting ready for anything (movie night, drinks with the girls, shopping, etc.) the HMF does not simply throw on something and head out. Even the most casual outfits have the most thought. Everything is carefully put together and likely their eye makeup was chosen to look unintentionally matching. The HMF knows that every chance to go out means looking good.
Want to stay up to date with all of my crazy shenanigans, what movies I’m watching, and how to live the best life ever? Add me on Snapchat: PotatoesHegarty
Stay classy, Internet,
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