The Insider's Guide to Teatoxing

Okay, what is teatoxing?

It is drinking tea daily for a month to help the body detox. Yes, it is simply that.

I have done a teatox (through Skinny Teatox) and it honestly was not what I expected. And that’s saying a lot, considering social experiments, especially concerning diet, are kind of my specialty. I’ve only consumed green smoothies for weeks, done a chicken and Gatorade diet, gone pescetarian, and just about any other weird food plan you can expect. And yet, teatox was a whole new ballgame.

For my teatox, it involved me drinking the special tea every morning for 28 days and then drinking a night tea every other night. That’s a total of 42 cups of tea total in 28 days. Which is a lot, even for my tea-loving self.

So, what should one expect during/after a teatox? What did I go through? What were problems? What did I like best about it? Well, let me tell you. Warning: Constipation is not a problem.

What to Expect When You’re Teatoxing

1. It’s really fun, and then really terrible

The first two weeks I was really into it. I bought myself a tea infuser, I made extra time in the morning to boil my water, and I even timed exactly when to take my night tea. It was probably the most exciting part of my week when I got to think about my Teatox. But once the two weeks were up I was, for lack of a better term, donezo. Drinking tea became a labor. Watching my roommate make her own tea made me feel ill. And actually making the tea was worse than my Modern Europe homework.

2. It does taste good

I was worried that it would taste like my other detox tea I buy from the store, which I can only drink with a cup of sugar. But I usually drink it plain, or with a teaspoon of sugar, and it’s really delicious and definitely better than many others I’ve tried.

3. Get ready to poop

Before buying this product I saw that apparently the night tea makes one Number 2 the next morning. This is a legitimate product detail and I advise you to take it seriously. You will not be constipated and your poop will be slightly green. Just make sure you have ample bathroom facilities and warn any people you’re visiting.

4. Your hunger will diminish

I love eating. Usually I like to snack and after dinner I am a chocoholic. But within a week of starting the teatox I found that I wasn’t doing any of that anymore. Actually, even my meals were getting smaller. The chocolate remained, but your appetite will definitely decrease the longer you teatox.

5. To-go carriers are a must

While it’s great to imagine that you will have time in the morning to drink your tea while reading Mindy Kaling’s book or the paper or something, likely you’ll be running out the door with it in a travel mug and your hair barely done. Not once in the entire 28 days did I ever get to just sit down and enjoy my tea like a normal tea-loving person.

What detoxes have you tried? Share in the comments!

Stay classy, Internet,




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4 thoughts on “The Insider's Guide to Teatoxing

  1. I’ve just started my detox today. It’s not exactly tea, but the cistus herb. It’s not that popular in the West, I’ve realised. I had mine delivered from Poland. It’s a shame you didn’t get to enjoy your experience too much. I don’t have any guidelines on how to use the herb I’m drinking, but I think I’ll just stick to once a day. I’m looking forward to it getting rid of the endless cold I seem to have. Would you do the details again, or would you try something different?

    1. PopularIsWrong,

      Please don’t think that I didn’t enjoy the experience, I really did, but I do want people to know all of the pros and cons that come with detoxing.

      I would definitely do it again just as I did before, and plan on doing so in the upcoming week before traveling to clean my system out. Detoxing is very important and should be done on a semi-regular basis.

      I wish you luck on your detox!


        1. PopularIsWrong,

          I would say 3-4 times a year. Definitely at the beginning of the year, during the spring, the middle of the summer, and in the fall. Or at least 3 of those times. Your system can get backed up pretty quickly, so doing it every few months or so is smart.

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