Tales From Robe Girl

So, I accidentally became famous.

It all started with me deciding to take a shower. Now, I rarely shower at night, but I thought on this one occasion, with all my homework done and an early morning, that I would take a shower at 10 o’clock at night. I stripped down, put on some music (hello, Mowgli’s, it’s good to listen to you again), and reached to the handle to turn on the water. Only for the fire alarm to go off.

Thinking, “You must be kidding me,” I reach for my robe, and poke my head out of my bedroom door to see my roommates rushing out the door. Realizing I do not have time to dress myself properly, I stick on flip flops, grab my phone, my keys, and thank the heavens my hair is dry as I go out into the cool night.

All I really remember about the fire drill is that I was annoyed. The fire alarm had apparently been set off on default and it had interrupted my relaxing night and now I was stood with all of my neighbours in my robe at 10:30 at night and all of my chill gone.

Fast forward to a few hours later. It’s about 1 am and I am asleep. Having given up on my shower escapade, I’m cuddled up warm in my bed in my pjs and I’m peacefully dreaming about cute band members and free college tuition. My phone vibrates and it wakes me, alerting me to a text message from one of my friends I’d texted about the robe/fire alarm situation.

It says, “Do you have the Yik Yak app?”

Our following conversation leads me to download the Yik Yak app, as my friend says I need to check out what is going on. If you are unaware of what Yik Yak app is, it basically is anonymous Twitter based on location. Which means people will post whatever they want anonymously about what is going on, and you can only see it if you live in the area.

Continuing on, I download the app and take a few minutes to figure it out. As I realize that all I have to do is scroll through, I begin to see the last few “yaks” from the past hour or so.

And that’s when I realize I’ve become a celebrity.

Everyone’s talking about the girl in the robe at my apartment complex during the fire drill. It’s a mixture of curiosity and inappropriate comments, but it’s all focused on me. It’s been three hours since it’s happened and people are deciding now is the perfect time to talk about me. And it’s mortifying!

I watch the feed for about two hours until I finally pass out from exhaustion at 3:30. It’s people asking about who Robe Girl is, making comments on what I looked like, and people making jokes on the whole situation.

My favourite was a boy who asked if there were any girls in my complex who wanted to smoke weed and watch Netflix and someone else had replied, “I do. I’m robe girl I’ll meet you by the pool.”

Yeah, she definitely wasn’t robe girl. I was in bed.

The next morning my roommates and I have a good laugh at it, and when I told my mom she laughed so hard I thought she died. Not to mention my friends who, even though they hear my stories of my insane life, guffawed about probably the topper to all my top stories. I took it all with grace and ended up starting a “search for Robe Girl” in the promise of coffee to the first person to find me. However, no one did and my identity is still safe.

And that is the story of Robe Girl. She is now going to be my Halloween costume and most likely will be brought up at my wedding a million and nine times. But it’s interesting and it’s a part of my life, even if I was mortified when it happened. And now I’ve shared it all with you, who now know the identity of Robe Girl, and we can all laugh about it.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little story. I’ll see you next week for more entertaining life stories.

Stay classy, Internet,

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